Well, It's Saturday night and I'm already thinking about my upcoming night shift in the ER tomorrow. 12 hours of pure bred CHAOS waiting for me on a platter with an apple in its' mouth. I can feel my heart racing like the galloping hoofs of a horse. My anxiety level is creeping up so fast that I begin to feel as if I'm the damsel in distress on the next "Nightmare on Elm Street" film. (By the way, what number movie are they on these days anyway, 25)
WHY?
Why is it that every week my body does this same pattern of fight or flight without fail. I mean, I literally have more than 24 hours to go before I actually step into another episode of the "Twilight Zone", yet I feel like my shift is starting any minute.
Now don't get me wrong....I do love what I do and I feel honored to treat the population I serve, but my chest wall is doing the beat box right now and I would guess that if anyone had a stethoscope to my heart, I could give Dougie Fresh a good battle. (He was the baddest beat box MC back in da' day..like in the 80's)
Working in the ER is nothing that can be explained in words. It's an experience that can only be summed up in the common phrases, "you gotta be in it, to win it" or "it's an ER thing, you wouldn't understand" (that's for all my HBCU grads).
It is a hybrid beast of its own not found in any animal encyclopedia. It can not be tamed, nor will it allow you to place a leash around its neck. The roar from its mouth could scare even the biggest Lion from the animal kingdom. So why do I keep trying to whip this beast into becoming the star of my one-woman circus show?
Folx' say all the time that they want to do something that makes a difference in someones life. And quite frankly, there are over a trillion ways to do that. Yet I chose a career that allows me that opportunity, but brings along with it a high-level of stress that I'm sure my own doctor would say could be a threat to my well-being.
NORMAL Heart Rate= 60 - 100 beats per minute
Soooo, here comes the stress...
The ER culture is not only fast-paced, but it requires you to think, function and perform within a blurs moment. It wants you to be a miracle worker and a magician all in one.
Heart Rate=105 bpm
The sounds of the ER are choreographed to a fine tune to keep your hips moving and groovin'. Tunes whose only purpose is to raise your anxiety just one more notch on that scale that seems to have no end. They include the melodic screams of the intoxicated patient, the ear-piercing beeps of a monitor being ignored by an overworked nurse, the soothing sounds of the dramatically retching patient (there is always more than one person vomiting at the same time)...to the audible criticisms of angry patients on how bad a job we are doing with our wait times.
Heart Rate=115 bpm
There's the days when 80% of my patients are 'sick as a dog' and I feel like I just can't see another patient without making some kind of a disastrous decision. I'm drained, I'm hungry and I'm weak, yet 5 more ambulance just wheeled in more patients needing to be seen immediately and the waiting room still has 25 people in it at 2am. (of course there were 50 people in the waiting room when my shift first started at 7pm)
Heart Rate=145 bpm
So by now, as I contemplate treating myself with a one-time dose of adenosine to slow down this supraventricular tachycardia (i.e. VERY fast heart beat) that my heart is beating at, I get the case that trumps it all. I finally get the rock that crushes the scissors. I get the opportunity to turn someones frown or worst fear into a smile. I get to teach my patient about their body and nutrition and turn them into good health soldier. I get to treat patients who are on the brink of respiratory arrest (stop breathing) or on the brink of "something BAD" improve into patients that say, "Thank you sooo much Doc.", "Can I get your card?", "Where is your office located?" in just a matter of minutes. I get to pray with families and patients during the most vulnerable times of their lives and turn their despair into hope.
So, as I anticipate the drama yet to come on my shift tomorrow night, as my heart rate is ramping up by the hour, I know I will make a difference in someones life, change a hardened heart or even provide food and shelter to a homeless person. BUT most of all.............I will fulfill GOD's calling on my LIFE..
Heart Rate=75 bpm
WHY?
Why is it that every week my body does this same pattern of fight or flight without fail. I mean, I literally have more than 24 hours to go before I actually step into another episode of the "Twilight Zone", yet I feel like my shift is starting any minute.
Now don't get me wrong....I do love what I do and I feel honored to treat the population I serve, but my chest wall is doing the beat box right now and I would guess that if anyone had a stethoscope to my heart, I could give Dougie Fresh a good battle. (He was the baddest beat box MC back in da' day..like in the 80's)
Working in the ER is nothing that can be explained in words. It's an experience that can only be summed up in the common phrases, "you gotta be in it, to win it" or "it's an ER thing, you wouldn't understand" (that's for all my HBCU grads).
It is a hybrid beast of its own not found in any animal encyclopedia. It can not be tamed, nor will it allow you to place a leash around its neck. The roar from its mouth could scare even the biggest Lion from the animal kingdom. So why do I keep trying to whip this beast into becoming the star of my one-woman circus show?
Folx' say all the time that they want to do something that makes a difference in someones life. And quite frankly, there are over a trillion ways to do that. Yet I chose a career that allows me that opportunity, but brings along with it a high-level of stress that I'm sure my own doctor would say could be a threat to my well-being.
NORMAL Heart Rate= 60 - 100 beats per minute
Soooo, here comes the stress...
The ER culture is not only fast-paced, but it requires you to think, function and perform within a blurs moment. It wants you to be a miracle worker and a magician all in one.
Heart Rate=105 bpm
The sounds of the ER are choreographed to a fine tune to keep your hips moving and groovin'. Tunes whose only purpose is to raise your anxiety just one more notch on that scale that seems to have no end. They include the melodic screams of the intoxicated patient, the ear-piercing beeps of a monitor being ignored by an overworked nurse, the soothing sounds of the dramatically retching patient (there is always more than one person vomiting at the same time)...to the audible criticisms of angry patients on how bad a job we are doing with our wait times.
Heart Rate=115 bpm
There's the days when 80% of my patients are 'sick as a dog' and I feel like I just can't see another patient without making some kind of a disastrous decision. I'm drained, I'm hungry and I'm weak, yet 5 more ambulance just wheeled in more patients needing to be seen immediately and the waiting room still has 25 people in it at 2am. (of course there were 50 people in the waiting room when my shift first started at 7pm)
Heart Rate=145 bpm
So by now, as I contemplate treating myself with a one-time dose of adenosine to slow down this supraventricular tachycardia (i.e. VERY fast heart beat) that my heart is beating at, I get the case that trumps it all. I finally get the rock that crushes the scissors. I get the opportunity to turn someones frown or worst fear into a smile. I get to teach my patient about their body and nutrition and turn them into good health soldier. I get to treat patients who are on the brink of respiratory arrest (stop breathing) or on the brink of "something BAD" improve into patients that say, "Thank you sooo much Doc.", "Can I get your card?", "Where is your office located?" in just a matter of minutes. I get to pray with families and patients during the most vulnerable times of their lives and turn their despair into hope.
So, as I anticipate the drama yet to come on my shift tomorrow night, as my heart rate is ramping up by the hour, I know I will make a difference in someones life, change a hardened heart or even provide food and shelter to a homeless person. BUT most of all.............I will fulfill GOD's calling on my LIFE..
Heart Rate=75 bpm
